Did he wound you so badly you can't stand it when you recall about the whole situation? Do you have a problem with how he did you bad? Have you ever considered to make him pay back so he sense the pain just like you're feeling now
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I'm sorry you feel so awful, your position make sense, I have been in that position myself and irrespective of how miserable it hurts, you must realise that he who angers you has got you. Let go, consent, move on, be genuine
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